the villain. my hero.

Yesterday, instead of writing, I decided to watch The Dark Knight for the first time. I highly advise anyone and everyone to see this movie as soon as possible. It really is as good as everyone says.
Regardless of the movies awesomeness, I realize that the Joker completely steals the show. I mean this in the best way possible, of course. I also realized that I always root for the villain to win, regardless how obvious the final outcome is. With this realization, I had some epiphany or something, causing me to see why I always seem to end up getting terribly hurt in relationships and such. The villain always seems so much more adventurous and lively than the hero... The villain is always so completely insane and psychotic and masochistic. The villain is the guy everyone says you should avoid.
I realize now, that my wrongdoing is in simply choosing the villain over the hero. The bad over the good. The psycho over the sane. Yet, I simply cannot choose the hero. The good guy. The sane.
No.
Because where is the fun in sanity? In order? In...'good?'
Where's the spark? The adventure? The romance?
And with this thought, I have had another epiphany.
With this, I realized that without chaos and corruption, this world would be so bland, so lifeless, so pointless. I realized that with the hero, everything is just perfect, and peachy, and...boring. You're actually more afraid of the hero. Why? Because with the hero, you're so terrified of showing your true emotions and your true self. You don't want to tear down and destroy this perfect life and relationship they've created and built with lies and simple fantasies and illusions of the mind. You're so afraid of making them sad, or depressed, or angry. You're so afraid to tell them what wrong they've done. If they hurt you by something they said or did. You're so terribly afraid of losing them. As if one day, they'll find you too corrupt and depressing, and simply leave you to find another.
With the villain, you can be insane. You can be corrupt. You can be masochistic. You never have to worry about faking a smile, because deep down, the villain is thinking the same, twisted, fucked up thoughts as you are. With chaos and inanity and lack of order, there is adventure and fun and freedom. The villain, I see, is the most desirable to me, simply because the villain is the one I've been told to stay away from.
Through the years, I have learned something so very important and so very true: Nothing is more desirable than what you can't have. Nothing.
Therefore, I've come to this conclusion:
Nothing is more desirable than the villain.